If you go to the above link, a short presentation given by Moez Masoud will download in a RealPlayer media box.
The first time I saw this presentation, it was completely by chance. My husband had downloaded it from YouTube. Ever since that day, nearly a year ago now, any time I feel weak in my faith I think of how Moez spoke in that presentation. I think of the words he said, and the way he said them. He has love in his heart and it spills from his mouth. I want that. I want to feel what he feels.
Having faith and remaining true to that faith are two different paths. I can have faith that Allah is there; that He is watching me. I can have faith that he only wants the best for me. But that does not mean I will always acknowledge the attention Allah gives me. That does not mean I will always pray fard (the obligatory five prayers). Only having faith guarantees passivity in faith. Remaining true to faith is an active path that I need to walk. Remaining true to faith means I am compelled by that faith. that love of Allah to continue to fight the good fight, and actively acknowledge Him who created me for worship.
I am not perfect. I do not always pray. I do not always do as I should. I know this sometimes before I act, other times in reflection of the day's going-ons. If I could only live in the present and be fully aware of my mind-body, I feel I could shed my bad behaviors.
I listened to an interview with Moez Masoud that was aired on a public radio broadcast from WUNC in North Carolina.
The above link is that broadcast. It has given me hope that I can change my path of passive faith to one of active love-faith. Moez had his ups and downs and had a beginning like most contemporary youths. He definitely had a life that I could campare to my own. He even spoke about how he did not pray, and after a life changing "awakening," how he dealt with certain issues of expressing his faith. He stated that he put an injunction on himself that he would not sleep until he made sure to say all his prayers, even if he had to lump them together. Since my slip ups consist of not always praying, this really stood out to me.
He changed. He changed not because he was embarrassed or worried about his reputation as a Muslim. He changed because he realized Allah gave him a chance to change his behavior. Allah loves us so much to give us another chance. Even me. Alhamdulillah rabbil alameen arahman iraheem.