I decided to start this blog, not only to keep a journal of my studies, but as a way to sort my thoughts. Sometimes it's like a multi-train collision in my head, especially when I am talking about religion or philosophy. So many thoughts all converge at one point, which causes me to forget where I began my line of questioning or reasoning. At times, I get so bogged down with inexhustible resources that I have to just stop everything, refocus, and delve into the subject again.
Islam is a recent passion that I share with millions worldwide. When I say recent, I mean that I have only been a Muslim for approximately 2 years. These two years have not been easy. Prior, I had been a Christian for 8 years, I dabbled in Buddhism, and for a while I was not of any denomination and even hated any organized religion. In some ways, I still hate the idea of organized religion.
When a friend told me about Islam, I didn't really listen as someone who wanted religion. I merely debated with that person regarding religion and everything under the sun. One day, alhamdulilah (thanks be to God), I found myself really listening and understanding. I was thirsty for this knowledge and began seeking more information. I knew then I had to be a part of this greatness, a part of His greatness. I began to love God, to want Him in my life. It even felt good to pray again.
I brought with me a lot of emotional and religious baggage, which I wish I could have left at the door, so to speak. Although, I think this "baggage" is carried by everyone who has ever changed, or thought about changing, religions. It would have been ideal if I could have erased my previous religious imprint and started anew. Even now, two years later, I can't help but interject Christian thinking or other secular information into my learning of Islam. It causes me to question and doubt, at times, what it is I am doing. Then, I remember why I began this journey. I was incomplete. My questioning and doubt is a way for me to strengthen my belief through the answers that I find. Thus, my arduous and rewarding path to Allah was founded.
So, here's to my attempts to make sense of it all, and find myself in the Beloved, insh'Allah (God willing).